You didn’t congratulate me yesterday when I attained a new milestone.
I’m so proud of you, really, you had that awesome amazing accomplishment too.
I wanna talk to you so bad, wanna congratulate you and tell you how amazing you’re, however, despite wanting to, I’ve decided that I won’t.
I won’t drag a conversation with you anymore. I won’t disturb you again. Even if I surely know you’ll blame it on me again, that I’m the one who distanced myself from you.
I can give thousands of efforts to be in contact with you but I dont know if you really cherish it. I don’t know if you really cherish what we have or not. I don’t know if I’m being delusional again.
So how does it feel to beg someone to stay in your life. It was you who told me that I’ll lose every ounce of my self respect if I continue this behaviour. But, how should I tell you? For you, I’m ready to lose every single fibre of myself, I’m ready to beg in front of heavens to please let you stay in my life,
I hate myself so much, why did I fall for you? I hate this so much, why did you fall out of love?. I still wonder what changed.
Maybe one day I’ll outgrow these emotions but right now it seriously hurts, it hurts so much.
Seeing you happy with friends makes me wonder if you ever think of me. I know the blame will fall on me again, why wasn’t I taking the initiative in contacting you?.
I always think blame emerges from expectations, so do you expect me to always be here for you?. I can be here for you!
But do you even miss me when you’re in a room full of people or is it just me? Do you miss me anytime other than when you’re all alone?.
You say I was the only one who made you feel less lonely in this life.
Deep down, do you also feel like this, a feeling that I don’t deserve this, and that you don’t deserve this.
Atlast, Why do we have to engage in this ugly entanglement?.
Just, I’m learning to accept the change and hope we can both find healing and happiness.
Until We Meet Again, Tata, TC.
Feb, 24.
~HrS.
AutumnGirl_^-^ 
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